I’m not a doctor but I think menopause caused the pain in my foot. Menopause has become the bad guy for all the body changes and bad feelings that I’ve been going through recently. No surprise since during my period season I thought about divorce around the 14th of every month. No joke.
So back when I was young and fertile all that I thought menopause was when I would no longer have to think twice about wearing white pants and I’d never have to worry about birth control again! Leap 33 years later and geez oh Pete it’s so much more! How come they didn’t advertise all the other things that would happen!? Here. Let me give you a peek with my top 10 favorite “Menu of Flaws”!
My Menu of Flaws
- Plantar Fasciitis Anyone? That’s what I’ve got in my right foot right now. I’ve got it taped up, orthopedic cushions and a brace. Dramatic much? Maybe. But I can’t not walk! Although not directly related to menopause it could be the result of lower estrogen, thus the lower elasticity resulting in the inflammation…or the weight gain.
- The Phantom Period Even after months of no menstruation, your body may decide to throw a surprise “almost period” at you—cramps, bloating, and mood swings but no actual period. That’s been a fan favorite of mine!
- Your Nose Becomes Super-charged Some of us develop a heightened sense of smell. Although I think I’ve always had this with 2 boys, a husband and smelly socks. Just because they couldn’t smell them didn’t make me a super sniffer!
- Your Hair Has an Identity Crisis Hair might start growing where it never has before while hair in familiar places might decide to retire early. Check and check on both! I have one fine hair that grows out the middle of my neck and a bald spot in my eyebrow from over-plucking. How was I supposed to know?!
- “Menopause Brain” is Real Brain buffering! I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked into a room forgetting why I’m there. I’ve even forgotten the names of my 2 sons when I call out for one of them and just go down the list of both their names including my husband’s and our dog! One of them has to fit and trust that they will insert where and when applicable.
- You’re Suddenly a Furnace Hot flashes are well-known, but some of us experience a random internal heatwave where we feel like a human bonfire while everyone else is wearing their ski jackets inside the house . No lie this has helped with the gas bill!
- You Might Develop an Accidental “Resting B**** Face” Estrogen affects facial muscle tone, and some of us notice that they look grumpy even when they’re perfectly content…and how come I don’t notice this until I’m looking at vacay pictures!?
- Sleep Becomes a Circus Act Falling asleep by 9:30 is easy but staying asleep? Not so much. My wide awake internal alarm is set at 3:30! I am mildly amused at the time consistency but for reals?!? How many of these symptoms would disappear if I could get a consistent 8 hours of sleep a night!?
- Suddenly Super Emotional Over the Weirdest Things This is oddly one of my favorites. Videos of dogs being adopted and intense red, orange and purple sunset skies just hits me different now. Happy tears and a warm heart feeling. I like this one.
So there you have it! And this is just the lunch menu of flaws! The list would be endless if i collected every woman’s experience & symptom! One thing that is undeniable, us women are warriors and the journey is far from predictable and a touch amusing. So cheers to us! No one better!
