hey.
About 14 years ago I turned in my corporate badge for PTA required tetanus shot vaccinations, finger printed clearances. I watched my closet mutate from Banana Republic slacks, sweaters and blazers to t-shirts, sweatshirts and yoga pants. Those chapters were heart filling and irreplaceable but quick reads, now I have a college and high school freshman, and I wish I could have held on to each word a little longer. Now I am on my chapter 53 and I’m about to write a blog about what’s next. Hi. Hello. Nice to meet you.
I think it best to get clear with all the excuses that have held me back from doing something like this sooner :
- I have no idea what I am doing and this is all going to fail.
- Failing sucks. Don’t do it then.
- I’m not interesting.
- I’m too old to change for the better especially since it’s taken me this long to be mediocre.
- I’m a great starter but not so much at…
- You will know that I have no idea what I’m doing and think that I’m not interesting.
Okay that was a bit sad to see how much I haven’t believed in myself.
Why change the plan up now? Because no matter how much I try to stuff my dreams away in my “it’s too late” pocket, they keep popping up in the most annoying and unrelenting ways. I dream of taking control of my health both mentally and physically. I dream of figuring out this whole life thing or at the least living it without the fear of getting it wrong. I dream of a home that is a haven, a place that I would want to rush back to even after a 5-star vacation. I dream of embracing my people and throwing picnic table events where we all gather to eat, drink, laugh, connect with family, meet new friends and reminisce with old friends.
So now that I’ve put myself out there I have nothing to lose. I’m going to make it to make it. There ain’t no faking it here because I’ve spent a lifetime of holding back for all sorts of reasons.
Now let’s see where this goes!
