Why is this so hard? Everything I want to write out I can see it in my brain, I can feel it in my heart and gut. But it’s so flipping hard to get it down on “paper”.
I haven’t used my brain for something like this in a long while. For the last 20 years the extent of my writing has been checking boxes, making lists and writing agreements into contracts that sound more like a robot is talking rather than a real person. I feel like the part of my brain that knows how to use adjectives and adverbs is a teeny shriveled nugget and it’s totally frustrating because I need it at full capacity immediately for this new journey to work!
But now I realize that this is a part of the journey. This is all new to me and it’s hard. The difference this time is that hard means I’m on the right path because I’ve been here before and this is normally the stage when I give up on myself and then regret not sticking with it later. This time I want to actually get somewhere. Hard is good as long as it keeps you going!
So the “in construction” me is going to expect these first posts to feel super uncomfortable, imperfect and not very interesting. And despite all of that I’m going to keep going because for me its the effort of working through all of the not so great traits of the “old me” to fight through and for the me that doesn’t give up when things get hard and that wants every chapter to come to be filled with new adventures and accomplishments.
